Kelley Kramer

Getting old

2008-10-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

One day, three elderly golfers were having their weekly round when the 60-year-old said, "Well, life sure gets tough when you get on in years."

His 70-year-old companion asked what he meant. The younger man said "Well, every day I wake up at 6:00 am and want to pee, however, no matter how I try it wont come. I run water, shake it, but nothing happens."

The 70-year-old finished putting, thought and said, "Man, you got it easy. Every day I wake up at 6:00 and want to poo. No matter how hard I grunt and strain, no luck. Even medicine doesn’t work."

Their older partner, an 80-year-old who had been quietly listening decided to speak up. "You’re both lucky. My problems are much worse. Every day I pee at 6:00 and every day I poo at 6:05."

His friends looked at him and asked, "How can that be so bad?"

The older man replied, "I don't wake up until 6:30."

Discrimination!

2008-10-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.

The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?''

Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.''

Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard.

''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.

The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?''

Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit.''

Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard.

''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.

Teacher then says,''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?''

''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives.''

''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me -
I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' I will give you a biscuit.''

curiosity

2008-10-16T04:21:00.001-07:00

once, when i was about five, i was in the toilets in school, washing my hands post slash. one of the other boys came in, who was from pakistan i believe. we shall call him mitul, because i can't remember his name. i began to wonder, and eventually decided to satisfy my curiosity.
"Mitul, you know how you have brown skin...."
"yeah"
"does that mean your poo is white?"
i can't remember his response, but it was a perfectly innocent enquiry, coz i assumed that perhaps skin colour and poo colour were somehow linked.......